Speaking Australian - Part 2

Done a funny-this is the same as “stuffing” something up, but I like this term better. The other day when a virus got loose on our servers at the office I asked the administrative assistant what had happened. She replied “The system’s done a funny mate, and now we’re stuffed.”

Smoko-used to be a smoke break, but now that smoking is falling out of favor a smoko is any break from work. I think the sneaky one is gradually replacing the smoko.

Dunny-can be any toilet, but is mostly refers to a Porta Pottie or an outhouse.

Kenny-a fictitious character in an Australian mockumentary by the same name. Kenny cleans and rents dunnies for a living and he happens to be the most popular man in Australia at the moment, even though he’s not real. Just as you cannot be any keener than mustard, you cannot be any more Strayin than Kenny. If you don’t believe me Google Kenny and Australia and see what happens.

Willy willy-this is not a stuttering relative of mine, it’s a mini-tornado. Or as they call them in some parts of the US, dust devils.

Bottle O-Liquor store. There’s a local bottle-O chain that employs a guy in a yellow foam bottle suit to hide in the bushes outside their shops and jump out to serenade their customers on the way in (scaring them half to death in the process). They film it and turn the footage into TV commercials. He always jumps them on the way in, instead of on the way out when they could drop their bottles of booze on the pavement. He’s so considerate.

Bugger-We covered this a little bit before but I’ve realized since then that bugger is a highly versatile word. It can be an adjective meaning small or very little, as in “He’s got bugger all chance with that bird”. It can be a directive, as in “Bugger off, you bogan!” Just a simple “Bugger!” is an exclamation of disgust or frustration.

She’ll be right-To an Australian this means something between “No worries” and “It’s ok”. It’s also often said as a way of giving up and going to the pub when things are so feral they simply can’t be put right again. What’s that you say-a white pointer just bit your leg off? No worries mate, she’ll be right. You’re burning to death? She’ll be right, have a sneaky one and you’ll be heaps better. A death adder is sucking on your carotid artery? She’s a keen bugger, but she’ll be right. You get the idea. To be Australian is to be unflappably relaxed no matter what occurs, because after all, she’ll be right.

Ordinary or average-In Australia, ordinary means average, average means bad, and fine means good. Confused yet? If an Australian surfer tells you the waves are average, surf conditions are so bad it’s not worth getting the board out of the closet. If the weather’s ordinary, it’s pretty nice, and if it’s fine, it’s perfect. However, Western Australians are spoiled in the weather department, so it has to be really excellent to be fine. Anything short of excellent is at the very best ordinary, which is not really so bad, but nowhere near as good as fine. Got it?

Higgeldy Piggeldy-This is a close relative of feral, but it’s heaps more fun to say.

Budgie Smugglers-These are the little bikini bottom swimming suits that European and (unfortunately) some Aussie guys wear at the beach. A friend of mine distinguishes them from underwear purely on a geographic basis. If you can’t see the water from where you’re standing they’re underwear, if you can they’re budgie smugglers.