Australian speech is a wonderful thing. Technically we speak the same language as they do, but in practice our languages are much more dissimilar than I realized before coming here. First, their usage of common words is often different than our own. Add on top of that strong accents and all the words that are uniquely Australian and you get the picture. A very nice lady I work with told me that if I didn't know what people were saying it was ok to ask because sometimes they forget how little English they actually speak. I could not have said it better myself. Here are a few of the lingual oddities I've noticed so far.
Australians have a general fondness for verbal brevity. I’ve heard brekkie for breakfast, cossie for costume (and for ladies swimwear-I haven’t figured out the connection there yet), roo for kangaroo, sunnies for sunglasses, and rather unattractively Scabs for Scarborough, the town I live in. I assure you the term does not do the place justice, it’s actually quite nice. They don’t even call themselves “Australians”. The local pronunciation is a two syllable affair that phonetically resembles “Stray-in”. And they refer to their country simply as “Oz”.
They also shorten people’s names. Paul Hogan the movie star is known as Hoges, and the late Crocodile Hunter simply as Steve. I have been called Jase, J, Wil, and Wils. Something that I find absolutely amazing is that here, thousands of miles away from home where I am reasonably certain most people have never heard my surname before they ALL pronounce it correctly, but at home where Willeys are everywhere it’s mispronounced more often than not.
Trainers-tennis shoes
Singlet-Tank top
Foreshore-beach
Cashed up-recently paid
Ute-pickup or SUV, basically anything bigger than a regular passenger car
Stubby-a regular bottle of beer, or the little shorts guys used to wear in the 80s in the US, and still wear here.
Bird-slang for girl, same as “chick” in the US. There’s an amusing anecdote involving this term, a car rental company, prostitution, and a very successful ad campaign here in WA, but it’s complicated. If you’re interested remind me sometime and I’ll tell you.
Keen as mustard-If you are keen, you are enthusiastic or focused on the task at hand. When I passed another bloke on a hike the other day he exclaimed that I was a keen bugger. If you are keen as mustard, you are as enthusiastic as one may possibly be. As far as I can tell it is impossible to be more keen than mustard.
Bogan-The closest thing to this is our native redneck. The typical WA bogan is likely to live in an outback mining town like Kalgoorlie and to arrive every so often in Perth cashed up and keen to get pissed and find some birds. He drives an ancient ute with a massive bullbar on the grill and bits of hair from roadkilled roos wedged under the fenders. His preferred cossie consists of tattered jeans or stubbies and a dirty singlet. He has a penchant for spitting in public and drinking large amounts of Victoria Bitter. When he goes to the pub he is either barefoot or in steel toed work boots.
Whack-This has at least three meanings as far as I can tell. You can whack something onto something else. For example the other day I was asked to whack my signature on a letter to a client. You can also “whack” (make) a turn while walking, driving, etc. The least common meaning is a lot of something (see the next paragraph). Australians often also say “heap” in this context as well, as in the advice I got from a bogan the other day after I told him I lived in Scarborough. “There’s a heap of birds in little cossies in Scabs I reckon. When I take the missus, I wear my sunnies so I can get a peek!”
There is a whole “whack” of special words centered around drinking and the bar culture. A “sneaky one” is basically a drink consumed at a time when one ought to not be drinking. As part of my initiation I was taken for a sneaky one at 1 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. I soon realized that a sneaky one isn't really all that sneaky, because there are lots of other people doing the same thing at 1 pm on Wednesday and any other weekday too. A “stubby” is a regular-sized bottle of beer. A “midi” is a small glass, roughly half a pint, and a “schooner” is a pint glass. And to make thing more confusing, these terms only apply in Western Australia, they’re different in the east. One of my favorites is the toast I heard the other day. Midi held high the bloke yelled “Get this up ya”. Simple and to the point, which is good when you’re talking to drunks. (Although here you don’t get drunk, you get pissed). I've told lots of people about tinnies and eskies already so I won’t review them here. I’m sure there are tons of others but that’s all I know at the moment.
Bob’s your uncle-this phrase is spoken to indicate that a task is completed, and completed well. See next paragraph for an example.
Piece of piss-an easy task. I’m not kidding, this is real. I asked a guy the other day for some directions to a place that as it turned out was just around the corner. He replied “Piece of piss, mate. Up the road, whack a left, and Bob’s your uncle.” I said cheers and walked away moderately confused, but I did find where I was going. I even heard one of the guys who work for me use it in a business meeting. I was thinking that pretty much validated its use in polite company, until about ten minutes after he used it he flipped our client the finger when the client made a joke he didn't like. Strayins tend to be an informal bunch.
Flyaway-coupon. The first couple times I was asked in a checkout line if I had any flyaways I was utterly at a loss as to what they were asking me.
Stuffed up-messed up, or wasted, as in “She’s stuffed up that contract”.
Done and dusted-finished, as in “That job is done and dusted”. This is a rare case of Australians saying more than is necessary. I would think that just saying something is done would be sufficient, but apparently in a business context something cannot be done without being dusted as well.
Flash-fancy or nice. I wore my nice pinstripe pants to work the other day and as I stepped in the door a colleague exclaimed “Flash, mate!” He had me ducking behind the nearest potted plant to check my zipper.
Washing powder-laundry detergent.
Getting the mickey out-making fun of someone. I observed the other day to an office mate that Australians seem to be generally cheerful people. She agreed and opined that it was because , in her words “Strayins are happy folks because we get the mickey out of our mates, but we’re just as happy to get the mickey out of ourselves”. Which is to say they don’t take themselves too seriously, and I agree.
Pull a shifty-Trick or fool someone. Used car salesmen (and some consultants) are famous for pulling shifties.
Quicksmart-with haste. As in “Don’t stand on the foreshore, or the crocs’ll have you for brekkie quicksmart.”
Feral-disorganized
Under the pump-harried or stressed. An office worker told me the other day that she was a bit feral at the moment because she’d been under the pump. I just nodded.
Cheers for now
One of the national parks I’ve visited is Yanchep, about 45 minutes north of Perth. We checked out a cave which had some nice flowstone and other formations, but had really been beaten up by intensive tourist traffic over the years. We also saw some koalas that weren’t quite wild, but nearly so. I was amazed to learn that a big tourist attraction in Australia is “koala cuddling” which is pretty much just what it sounds like: people paying to pick up, hug, and generally antagonize koalas. They are nuts-I have seen the claws on those animals and there is no way I’ll be cuddling any koalas.
The best part of Yanchep by far is the presentation on Aboriginal life. Our teacher was a member of the Noongar people, which is the primary aboriginal group in the Perth area. First we learned how the dot paintings that aborigines make are actually like our books, in that they tell stories. Then we watched an aborigine make a special glue out of tree sap, ashes from a fire, and kangaroo poo (no kidding). It looks like tar but it dries hard in about twenty minutes. They use this stuff to bind just about any kind of natural material together. The best part about it is it's strong enough to hold tools like axes together, but if the tool gets worn or dull you can heat up the glue and it gets pliable again, so you can reuse it over and over. After going through some of the traditional tools he showed us how to make fire, but I need to go to remedial fire making class because all I could get was a little smoke. I don't feel bad though because at least I tried. The only other guy who tried didn't even get that far.
After the fire making failure it was time for music and dancing. He showed us how to play the digeridu, which involves breathing out into the cheeks, then forcing the air out of the cheeks while breathing in through the nose. Using this technique a digeridu player can play continuously without pausing for a breath. He explained that authentic digeridus are not manufactured by people, but are created from trees that are naturally hollowed out by termites. After the digeridu lesson he taught us traditional party song and the accompanying dance, and finished the session by performing the traditional fishing dance, which is basically a ritualized version of the movements one would use to stalk and spear fish in shallow water. It was all great fun and I learned very much.
